I prefer to only see one person at a time. I’m not the type who likes to ride a man carousel & having spent half my life in a long-term relationship, I can’t say that I’ve had a whole lot of sexual experience (although I have done some stupid shit but, who hasn’t?). I’ve only had a few one-night stands in my life & they were horrible & alcohol induced. One of these one-night stands & a sexual experience one of my best friends had has resulted in us implementing a fail-safe. Also, I have social anxiety, so by the time I’m approaching someone at a bar, I’m way past “making bad decisions mode.”
The particular horrible one night stand I had that is my half of the inspiration for the fail-safe happened while I was out with a few friends. I’d like to give a big, sarcastic “thanks a lot!” shout out to my friends for not stopping me. Mind you, my personal preference in the body hair department on myself and others is NONE. I don’t like hair except for head & eyebrow hair & I’m not even that fond of eyebrow hair. Give me a long haired, hairless dude any day. Anyway, when I’m too drunk I close one eye in an attempt to see only one of the two objects I’m looking at. So, there I was, standing in some rock club staring at the stage with only one eye open. In my drunken state, I thought the hairy band member I was blurrily looking at (and decided I was going to have) looked like Kim Thayil from Soundgarden. I’m not even attracted to Kim Thayil. Well, when I’m sober. Chris Cornell is another story.
To lessen my public mortification I’ll just note that there was a van involved to which I was in for a total of probably four minutes.
I can’t really share my friend’s experience (as hilarious as it is) that led to her half of our fail-safe without possibly having the other person involved reading this, but in the future if we are drinking and are about to make a big mistake, we plan to say a certain phrase which includes that person’s name. We both are pretty damn sure hearing those words will promptly sober us up.
Adventures in Online Dating 